Allowing Others to Change

I love how in my church the members are considered the "experts." Maybe experts isn't really the right word, but it works, I think, because when I say experts I mean that it's not trained clerical leaders that we hear from during our worship services, but regular members. We all have the chance to share what we have learned about the gospel, we all have the chance to teach others.

Today I learned a very important lesson that I have been pondering since I heard it. The Sister who spoke shared an story where she had experiences that helped her to become a different person. She had changed and she was so grateful her family gave her the greatest give they could ever give by allowing her to change, and accepting that change.

"The Past Must NEVER Be Allowed to Hold the Future HOSTAGE." 

- Music and the Spoken Word 12/29/13

How often do we hold others to their "past selves." We come to know people, others come to know us and although in this life we are meant to learn from our experiences we expect people to stay the same.

We expect our little brother to always be lazy. Our grandma to always be judgmental. Our cousin to be mean. Maybe we even expect ourselves to always be the same. We are genuinely shocked when they act out of the norm. And instead of embracing and loving them for that change how often do we harm by reacting negatively and holding them to their old ways.

As I ponder this I wonder if maybe this could be a reason I am afraid to change, or feel like I am unable to change. I think I am afraid that those I care about and love won't accept the "new me."

This one lesson today has brought new meaning to the statement:

We shouldn't be afraid to make those changes we know we need to make just because we are afraid that the change won't be accepted.

I'm grateful for these lessons I can learn. For this new viewpoint because I know I'm going to make a better effort to encourage and accept those around me for the changes they are trying to make!

Happiness

When I blog...I blog a lot! :) Instead of just sitting and thinking I realize I could blog about that! Today as I was walking into work I had a little epiphany  I was thinking back to times when I absolutely loved being at UVU, not that I don't love it now...it's just not the same as when I was a student.

UVU really has a gorgeous campus! Especially in the fall & summer! This is my favorite spot! :)

As I was walking I thought about the people I used to spend my time with, and the things we used to do together. I pondered on the reasons why I felt so much joy, and I realized that happiness really is a choice not something that happens to us. Happy people are constantly doing things that bring them joy. Whether that is walking around in nature, listening to music or just telling stories. They are actively searching, not playing the victim of circumstance.

Love these cousins!! And Tie Dye :)

This is something I am going to strive to do better at starting this summer! I am going to do better at finding things I love to do and then doing them more often! Whether that is sitting on my porch and reading a good book, visiting the most magical place on earth or spending time with my family. It's gonna be a good summer!!

Decisions

I have felt like my life lately has been at a standstill. I was comfortable where I was, but I knew inside it wasn't the best place for me. I knew that I had not reached a place where I was completely happy. So I took action. I searched for things I might like to pursue, things that would be a challenge, but would bring more joy into my life. 

One of those things was the Teach for America program. It is an extremely prestigious program that accepts approximately 17% of their total applicants each year. Their mission is to eradicate the achievement gap that exists between students coming from low or high income socioeconomic statuses.  After being trained in elementary education I saw first hand the issues that exists in our country's education system and wanted to do something about it. I felt this program might be the best way for me to make a difference. So I applied. I was shocked when I made it past the first and second rounds simultaneously and was asked to attend a final interview. (Another blog post on this might be coming in the future...)

Since I was shocked then you can imagine how flabbergasted I was when I found out I was accepted to teach 6 - 12th grade science in Oklahoma. I couldn't believe they felt like I was among the elite. Among those in our country who have the ability to make a difference in the lives of students who need good teachers the most. I felt so lucky, yet I knew I had a big decision to make. 

Was TFA the right place for me? Was it the good, better or best option for my life? I had to find out. I kept doing research, except now it was more focused. I looked at Oklahoma and what my life might look like if I moved there. I talked to friends and family members. I emailed my brother, Brian, who is currently serving a mission in Moldova. I basically spent the last week and a half thinking about this decision 24/7. It was stressful. It weighted on my mind constantly. 

I found some of the most helpful conversations were ones where people gave me very specific advice. My roommate and her Dad probably gave me the most useful idea. I took to my computer, wrote a very comprehensive Pro and Con list, and looked at my options logically. I then prayed about my decision and felt so confused and conflicted. 

On Monday I received an email from my brother. In the 19+ years we have spent together not once did I ever think he would give me advice. He's the little brother who loves to push my buttons and tease me. But now he's on a mission and the email he sent truly showed just how much of an inspired missionary he has become. He shared a couple quick lines of advice with me and then referred to an article entitled Start Moving.  I cried as I read it because it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. 

I highly suggest reading it! If you don't have time though here is a short summary. It talks about smoke jumpers on a hill who, instead of making a decision when they cannot reach their commander by radio, sit and wait. They wait hours for the signal to improve so they can get their instructions. The signal never improves and when another chief arrives at their location asks why they have not been assisting. The explain they could not get instructions and the chief takes the radio and walks down one path 50 yards and receives a signal loud and clear. He does the same on another path and the same thing happens. The message behind the story is that often in our lives we sit and wait for inspiration on what to do when really we should start moving and then if we are moving down the incorrect path God can reach us, tell us to turn around and try another path. 

This is what I had been conflicted about in my answer. I had been told that TFA was not what I should currently pursue and I wondered why I had felt so great about pursuing it at first and then when I received the invitation to join the corps I felt like it was not the right decision. I had worried that it might be the fear of the difficult of the task, but I know that is not the case. I know I can accomplish anything if I put my mind to it, but for right now TFA is not the best direction for my life.

I am so grateful for a testimony of the gospel and the knowledge that our Heavenly Father truly guides our lives. He knows who He needs us to be and will guide us on our path to get there. What will come next in my life? I know...but that's another story.

Stress & Time

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down.

Going Beyond Wonderland

Every year UVU puts on a leadership day for all of the student leaders on campus. As an "advisor" of sorts to my Orientation leader I get to attend as well. It is normally a themed event that gives students a chance to proactively think about what type of leader they will be during the year.

This year the theme is "Going Beyond Wonderland." Everything tied into Alice in Wonderland including the handouts, gifts and speakers! 

The part I want to talk about though was the keynote speaker. This year it was Alexis Jones; media personality, social entrepreneur, and author. She was a celebrity host, competed on the show Survivor, and is now one of the heads of a major non profit organization. The way she told her story and connected it to life made her one of the most inspiring people I have had the opportunity to listen! To document the day here are some of my favorite quotes from her remarks. (each and everyone of these could have a whole blog surrounding them...which in the future they might...but for now...here are the quotes :D)

"The universal bond between all of us is that we all have insecurities and we hold onto them and try to compensate for them." 

"You can make any dream come true if you want it bad enough to make it happen."

"There are a lot of sacrifices we have to make in order for our dreams to come true."

"Confidence is something you can earn daily in the little things you do each day. You find confidence in an others focused life."

LIVE A LIFE OF CONTRIBUTION NOT CONSUMPTION

Believe that your voice matters and do something with it!

"You are a combination of the 5 people you spend the majority of your time with."

"Don't be another dreamer if you can't back it up! Develop the skills you need! Get the education you need!"

"It is not about being fearless it is about being prideless"

"Everyone needs to do something that shatters your idea of impossible."

"If your dreams are accomplishable in your lifetime they are too small! Think Big! Think Long Term"

"Getting told what to do is easy. It is terrifying to think out of the box and dream, but we have to be willing to do it DAILY."

"Take time to slow dance with life. Take time to breathe it in. Take time for yourself."

"Stop waiting for that magical moment! YOU can make it happen!"

NEVER separate yourself from your FAITH. Your faith is what allows you to be vulnerable and REAL with others.

UVU REVIEW covered the event well. Read their story here.