The End

In life we often move too quickly to truly appreciate what we have. We make judgements and hold grudges. We pursue our goals and foster relationships. We focus on the future. We too frequently set aside what truly matters for what will entertain in the moment. We are always striving to be better, but sometimes as we are trying to make a life for ourselves we often don't stop and take the time to appreciate what we already have.

8 years ago if you would have told me that my mom would be passing away in a year I would have told you that you were crazy. That there was no way I could handle a trial like that. Even when she was diagnosed with Cancer April 14, 2006 I thought she could beat those devastating odds. She was too important in this world to leave. But God had a different plan.

As I look around our home today I see her handiwork everywhere. The scrapbooks she spent hours making for each of us so we could remember the amazing adventures we had. The pictures she took, printed and then placed lovingly around our entire house. The crafts she made to decorate our home. The letters she wrote and would leave for us to find just when we needed the words most. The recipes written with care. The encouraging sayings lining the walls. The skills and love that she passed along to her kids through her example. She is everywhere, yet she is not here.

Growing up I didn't realize there would be an end. An end to the scrapbooks. An end to the service. An end to the family parties. An end to the encouraging letters. An end to the ridiculous songs she'd make us sing. An end to the trips. An end to her laughter. An end to the crafts. An end to the enthusiastic energy she brought to my life. An end to the love she so freely gave.

As I think back now 7 years I wish I would have known.  I would have hugged a little tighter. I would have listened and loved more. I would have been more understanding and less judgmental. I wouldn't have said those words, or done those things. You don't realize how much you missed, until the time is gone.

That's the thing with life. We don't know the future and that is how it is supposed to be. We move forward with Faith, and do our best to be a little better each day. Because of her I strive to let all I know feel my love. I try to emulate her kindness and selflessness. To remember to give help and encouragement. To forgive quickly and love deeply.


I'm grateful for the knowledge that I have that my family will be together forever one day. That one day some of those I will get to be with my Mom again. I have had choice spiritual experiences where the Spirit has confirmed that she is not far from me. But some days that knowledge doesn't make the ends in this life any easier.

So today take the time to tell someone who important to you, but might not know it that you love them. Smile at that stranger you pass by that looks a little down. Hug your parents a little tighter. Because you never know when you will reach the end.